Last night after finding a curt note I put in his wallet asking him when he was going to say,'Happy Anniversary' Don went grocery shopping and bought me/the front garden a potted cyclamen. I neither like nor dislike cyclamen. I asked his is the cyclamen was because he had not said Happy Anniversary or because he has not said Happy Valentine's Day.....He said it was because they did not have an appropriate card for "I screwed up".
-Note with a 12 yr old in the house there are few if any moments when you will not be overheard...so we had about 7 minutes to talk all day.
_____I am 48, married 17 yrs to a Passive Aggressive, to Don (the PA), 7 minutes is an eternity, to me, time is not the problem, the discussion is always a disaster, and has been proven so every time.
----I asked him if he thought it was time to go to counseling, he said it never worked before, Counseling does not work for him. (WTF???) swearing again, I know, sorry
- Like not going to counseling is working???....Kaboom- 7 minutes....
This morning, with a tear stained face:
I state, " I think we need to sit down and talk about what if anything we are going to do about the quality of our relationship. (pause, he hates those) I felt very sad going to church alone on our anniversary, I mean, that we both have God in our lives is a tenet of our relationship. That you would get all fired up and angry that the neighbor's dog might come through the fence into our backyard but cant get angry that about our relationship; I think your priorities are way off".........Kaboom- another 7 minutes, with a promise of more.
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